So, you’re a single mom. Now what?

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Hey, Momma.

Hope you’re doing well this week.

Yes, I have been MIA for a while, with good reason though.  My studies had me running around like a mad person, plus there’s work. And the school holidays started so I had to prioritize. But I’m back. For a while, anyway.

Is it too late for October goals? No? Good. Well, one of these goals is to narrow my niche down more and focus on mommy-ing; specifically thriving single mommy-ing. So this is the first blog post about this.

Most of us did not picture that our lives would have turned out the way they have (and if yours did, GREAT!) I remember planning my life out to the last detail.  I was going to be a successful civil engineer. By the time my 20th birthday came around, I would meet the man of my dreams and marry him five years after falling deeply in love. During the next 10 years, we would build our beautiful home (with white picket fencing) where our two children would flourish and be happy.

Aah… the naivety of youth.

Suffice to say, Momma, that did not materialise.

Instead, I met this guy, with whom I fell madly in love. I got pregnant. He left. A lot of things happened in between, but you have the gist. So when my 25th birthday arrived, I was an unemployed, single mom of a one-year-old boy and no idea what to do. My mind regressed into a dark place, and my physical wellbeing followed. But it’s not all doom and gloom.

Every single mommy has their own story on how they embarked on this journey alone. Whether it was by choice or chance, what we all have in common is this: This was not the way your life was supposed to be like.

Turning the page

Being thrust into a situation like this is really a rude awakening. But it forces you to deal with bigger issues than your own pity party.  And most women, like myself, thought being responsible for this little bundle of joy could mean serving a death sentence to my social, love and professional life. And during that part of my life, one of two things could have happened. I could have:

  1. Become one of those moms who seem not be worried about their children. I could have partied every day, all day and not care about the consequences of that, or
  2.  Womxned up, take control of the situation and be the best single mommy out there.

I chose the latter, and, with the support of my tribe and faith in my God, I succeeded.

Right now, I’m a public servant (but that’s still cool), planning on starting my own business (more on that another time) and getting to spend loads of quality time with my son.

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The hard reality is that daydreaming alone will amount to nothing. Things never go the way we plan. This is obvious. You actually have to go out there and make it happen. Once this realisation hits you, you will find that being the solo parent in your child’s life is not a death sentence to your hopes and dreams. But as such, you have to plan extra carefully.  Granted, your plan and God’s plan don’t always line up, but you will have a prosperous future  (Jer. 29v11). But you cannot do this on faith alone.  Faith and work will get you there (Prov. 16 v 3). That is a promise.

So what do I daydream about these days? In no particular order

  1. A flourishing bed and breakfast business I can leave to my son.
  2. Loads and loads of quality time with my son
  3. A home in the Karoo with three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a pool where I can have…
  4. Dinner parties  with my friends and family
  5. Vacations in Egypt, Kenya, Ireland and Namibia which means I will have…
  6. Financial security.

And I’m working hard towards these things.

How do you picture your life, Momma? Do you have any plans you want to realise for your future?  How do you plan on achieving your goals?

See you around….

 

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About Leolynn

Hi. Welcome to my little world. Here you will read about my journey through motherhood and natural hair, as well as other little titbits I might share.

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